Sunday, 20 November 2011

Interviewed in the Globe and Mail - November 2011


Tyler refuses to submit weekly progress reports, assuring you he'll “get the project done on time.” Mindy gets in after 9 most mornings, and often cuts out early. Kevin frequently chit-chats about his after-work activities with co-workers, loud enough for everyone to hear. Dana always “forgets” to fill out her time card. Chris texts during meetings and regularly takes personal phone calls at work.
You've got an employee who seems smart and capable, and generally does a great job with the tasks you assign them. But even though you feel you’ve given them plenty of guidance and leadership, they still aren't doing things the way you want them to. How do you handle an employee when their work is good, but their behaviour is a problem?
David Zweig, associate professor of organizational behaviour at the University of Toronto Scarborough, says the first step in dealing with problem behaviour is to determine why it's happening.
“The challenge of a leader is to find out what is motivating this negative behaviour, or lack of behaviour, and get to the bottom of that,” he says. “You really need to sit down with someone and say, 'What's the issue? Explain to me what's going on. Why is it you're having difficulties with these aspects of your job and what can we do to resolve the situation?’”
Although irritating habits might make you think someone is being defiant or lazy or just has a bad attitude, something else might be at play, says Cissy Pau, principal consultant for Vancouver's Clear HR Consulting.
“Sometimes it could be a generational thing – if this is someone who's new to the workforce, or just out of school, they may need more explanation of what it's like in the work world,” she says. “A lot of times it has to do with communication, the explanation of what's important – here are the tasks you need to perform, but also how you need to perform them.”
Ms. Pau points out that sometimes the bad behaviour could have been picked up from others in the office environment, perhaps even the boss.
“If you are saying to employees, 'You've got to be on time to meetings, and don't be texting or tweeting,' but then the manager that's leading the meeting takes a phone call, you're setting the example that it's okay,” she says. “Look at yourself, what are you doing or not doing that's contributing to the behaviour?”
Employees could have personal reasons for things such as lateness or leaving early, says Toronto-based HR consultant Sari Friedman.
“Find out what's behind this need to leave,” she says. “Maybe they have to take their ailing parent for a treatment, or it's because of something they are passionate about that isn't work, like they teach spinning class.”
Both Ms. Pau and Ms. Friedman agree the key to keeping bad habits in check is regular, consistent feedback – not just a once-a-year performance review.
“If a person came late for a meeting, tell them today, don't wait for two weeks,” says Ms. Pau. “Give them specific examples, convey the consequences of what impact the behaviour has on co-workers, the project, the client,” she said.
“It's not realistic that every work relationship is going to come easily,” says Ms. Friedman. “I have a lot of managers who say, 'That's going to take a lot of my time.' But I have to remind them that's why you're called manager, that's what a lot of your time is going to be taken up by. You're not meant to be the ‘do-er’ 100 per cent of the time; at least 20 per cent of the time you've got to be managing people and that means talking to them and giving them feedback in a timely way.”
Ms. Friedman also warns against the “off-the-cuff” admonishment.
“If they're leaving early and you say, ‘Oh, big date tonight?’ – you think you've told them that it bothers you, but you haven't,” she says. “So how seriously have you conveyed that message? You can't expect that they know what you're talking about.”
But if you've determined what's behind the behaviour, given the employee direct feedback and the behaviour stills persists, the question becomes – what can you do to change that behaviour? Is it better to take the carrot or the stick approach?
“Definitely carrot,” says Mr. Zweig. “We know from research that punishment doesn't often work. The problem with the stick is if you're not there to apply the stick, the person is going to revert back to their old habits. And they're also going to blame you for using the stick. When you use punishment, you're teaching them what they're not supposed to do, but you're not teaching them what they're supposed to do. The carrot takes a little longer, but it's much more effective in producing long-term behaviour change.”
Mr. Zweig believes the easiest incentive you can use is simple praise: “Praise is a very effective and underused motivator.”
Ms. Pau suggests that incentives can also be used to encourage good performance. “You pay a person a wage to do a job and if they do their job, they get the wage,” she says. “But if you want someone to do something above and beyond, if you want them to stretch a little bit, that's when you can incent them. That value differs from person to person – it might be money for one, time off for another, a trip to Hawaii to another.”
You can also use performance objectives to communicate to your employee that their bad behaviour might affect advancement, perks and remuneration, suggests Ms. Friedman.
“If you tie it to performance and are doing reviews properly throughout the year, not just a one-hit wonder at the end, you can say ‘You're not trending well in this area, you have been coming late, leaving early, you're only getting 6 per cent on that and not 10 per cent and that affects your bonus,’” she says.
If an employee's behaviour is affecting your bottom line or company morale, that's when it's time to consider termination, says Ms. Pau.
“For example, we have a client who said, 'We have employees who don't fill out time sheets,’ she says. “They're a service company, so the company bills their clients based on the hours employees work. If it's the only way you can invoice a client, at some point it's a really big issue.”
“If you've given the explanation, you've set up the expectations, you've given them feedback, you've given them a reward or the discipline and it doesn't work and you don't see a way out, then maybe that person doesn't fit,” says Ms. Pau.
On the other hand, says Ms. Friedman, it could be that the employee's strengths outweigh the behavioural weaknesses.
“Sometimes you'll say, 'This person's worth it, they're quirky, they're creative,' she said. “I also think that you have to pick and choose – you're not going to be able to change everything about everyone ...You decide which things you can more casually approach and which you need to put your foot down about. There's something about everyone that might not be ideal in a business context, so are you maximizing the good stuff?”
If you find an employee is worth holding on to despite their negative habits, you may need to alter your policies to accommodate them.

Quoted in Canadian Business - October 2011

Survival Guide: Career

By Jacqueline Nelson  | October 19, 2011
For most people, losing their job is the biggest threat posed by tough economic times. Should you be worried?
Before a corporate squall, there are usually warning signs. One of them is a spike in meetings. If private gatherings or quiet tête-à-têtes have grown more frequent at work, it’s likely change is brewing, according to Alan Kearns, head of Toronto-based consulting company Career Joy and author of Get the Right Job Right Now! “You should also look out for managers or leaders at the company acting cooler or under obvious stress.”
Kearns also suggests talking to the company’s salespeople, who are “usually upstream on what’s happening in the organization.” If they’re not hitting their numbers, it could be a sign that cost savings will have to come from somewhere else in the company. Lost contracts or failed bids can also precede cuts.
When fellow staffers are being shown the door, you might have to work harder, or it might be time to look beyond your own firm or even industry for opportunity, says Sari Friedman, a human-resources coach and consultant. “You might decide that ultimately you don’t want to slug it out in this industry doing two people’s jobs at once. There are other industries that are more financially secure and my skills are transferable.” If you were working in finance for a media company, perhaps a move to pharmaceuticals or resources would be beneficial.
Claude Balthazard, a vice-president at the Human Resources Professionals Association of Ontario, suggests looking for the industries that are growing. “For example, in Ontario you can go to the Job Futures website and it will tell you what the prospects are,” he says. “Health care, with the aging population, is a good place to be. Manufacturing, maybe less so.”
If you decide to stay put, Balthazard advises, “don’t be deadwood.” The easiest way to ensure your security is to be the best at what you do. “Both internally and externally, everyone has a reputation, and the best will be the last to go, and will land quickly in other roles if they find themselves laid off,” Kearns adds.
If the company conducts regular performance reviews, take a second look at those to make sure you’re approaching your objectives. Even if you’re not the company’s star employee, there are other ways to increase your odds of success. “One good way to build stickiness in an organization is by building relationships in different divisions of the company. People with deeper relationships are harder to let go,” he says.
Employees should also look for ways to add value to the company, either by increasing revenue or saving money. Through all this, Kearns notes, being a positive influence on the team can save hard-working people with average skills. “Having a resilient attitude and keeping the team upbeat and motivated is extremely valuable in times of flux and uncertainty.”

Interviewed in the Globe and Mail - November 2011

The first 90 days are crucial when it comes to a new hire. If the fit is right, it can be the beginning of a successful long-term work relationship that benefits both employee and employer. If the fit is wrong, it can cost a company a great deal – both in time and money.
“Turnover is upwards of 30 per cent in the first three months,” says Christian Codrington, senior manager of operations at the British Columbia Human Resources Management Association. He explains that the cost of replacing a new employee is one-and-one-half times the cost of any new hire, because “you have to recruit and hire a replacement while the work’s not getting done.”
For small businesses, these kinds of excess costs can be particularly damaging. But with some careful planning and attentive management during those first 90 days, companies can avoid the three-month turnover trap and help new employees integrate successfully into their new environment.
The orientation checklist: A must-have
Well before their new hire’s start date, employers should put together a detailed orientation checklist, according to Toronto-based human resources consultant Sari Friedman.
A comprehensive checklist will ensure that an employer won’t miss important (but often overlooked) details, such as informing the rest of the office a new employee is starting, or making sure the new hire gets the proper payroll information.
On their first day, employers should refer to the checklist to make sure the employee gets all the essential facts.
“Make sure [new employees] have an understanding of the things that are close to people's hearts, like benefits and when they are going to be paid,” says Ms. Friedman. “You need to take care of those basic things first.”
Ms. Friedman recommends reviewing the new employee's job description in detail that first day. Explain what it is they will do, what the people around them do, and the overall scope of the organization. “And walk them through it; don't just to plunk it down on the person's desk,” she says.
A workable workstation
Employers need to ensure that a new employee's workstation is ready to go as soon as they walk through the door, says Mr. Codrington – not the next afternoon or a week later.
“I was a co-op student for a financial consulting firm years ago and for the first two weeks, I had a chair ... from the lunch room,” he recalls. “I sat in the hallway and my desk was a bunch of financial management books and a phone they had wired up ... people are kind of chuckling at you as they walk by.”
Even the smallest things matter, “like making sure someone’s desk and drawers are clean,” says Ms. Friedman.
Structure the first two weeks
Mr. Codrington suggests giving new employees a schedule for their first two weeks, outlining who they should meet with and to whom they should talk. Meetings with key colleagues can be scheduled in advance, and managers should take the time in the first day or so to personally introduce the new employee around the office.
Just as critical are one-on-one sessions with the employee's manager, scheduled frequently throughout those first two weeks.
“You can say, ‘Monday, Wednesday and Friday in the afternoon we're going to spend some time decompressing from your day and just finding out how you're doing,’” recommends Mr. Codrington.
Employees are most engaged when senior management shows care and interest in their situation, says HR consultant Janet Salopek, president of Calgary's Salopek Consulting. In smaller organizations, it's important for the company's CEO or owner to schedule lunch meetings with a new employee, particularly if he or she is in a senior role.
“The owners can touch base with the new employee and give them some really good history of the organization and a feel for the culture, and we know that really excites people,” she says. “It's a good thing [to do] that doesn't take a lot of time.”
The buddy system
Good workplace integration isn't just about new duties and responsibilities, it's also about helping a new hire feel comfortable with the office culture. Ms. Salopek says a good way to ensure this is to assign your new employee a “buddy,” a fellow employee who can fill them in on everything – from where the bathroom is and how to use the telephone to where the nearest gym and good local eating spots are.
“Particularly with the young people, [this] is critical. They need to know where people go to connect,” she says. “But you have to coach the buddy and let them know what their role is and what the expectations are, because it’s an important role.”
Ms. Friedman says employers should select their buddies thoughtfully. “Be really careful about who you select to orient the new employee so they don't learn bad habits.”
Don't lead with the negative
Although you may want to involve your new employee in all the team meetings, Mr. Codrington says employers need to be mindful of what's being said, particularly during the new hire’s early days. Meetings about money-saving measures, restructuring or belt-tightening might be confusing for someone new to the organization.
“What you shouldn’t do is overwhelm them with the negative,” he says. “Help people interpret the information they are getting. Make sure the manager follows up one-on-one to say, ‘You just were in this meeting where you heard some talk about restructuring, you must have some fears or concerns, can we talk about anything?’ Just don’t forget your new person.”
After the first two weeks
Scheduled check-ins should continue throughout the first three months, says Ms. Salopek.
After the first month, she says both the buddy and the manager should check in with the new hire. During the second month, sit down with the new employee and set their goals. Finally, during the third month, review these objectives and look at further training and development.
Providing feedback is also critical, says Ms. Friedman. “Don’t wait. Part of orienting someone is giving them feedback, letting them know if they're meeting expectations.”
Although the first month or so tends to get the most attention, Ms. Friedman says employers should be mindful of their employee's all-important three-month mark.
“It is much easier and more cost-effective, if you need to sever the relationship, to do it in the first 90 days in terms of avoiding extra costs and extra legal liabilities,” she says.
“Every good manager should have the employee’s three-month date in their calendar.”

Sunday, 16 October 2011

Quoted in the Huffington Post - October 2011

Overcoming Work Mistakes: Learn How to Speak Up And Move On

It's like something out of a bad dream.
You're in the middle of a typical day at the office, feeling like your usual confident, competent self. And than, bam! It's like ice water down your back. You realize you've made a mistake -- a big one. You accidentally sent a sensitive email to someone you shouldn't have. You totally forgot about a lunch with an important shareholder. You misspelled a valuable client's name in a press release. You messed up -- big time. Now what?
Your first instinct (after hyperventilating) may be to hide under your desk. But is there a way to face your big boo-boo and come out of it looking good -- or at least with your job intact?
Toronto-based Human Resources Consultant Sari Friedman says it's better to own up to your mistake as soon as you realize you've made it.
“Otherwise it will come back and haunt you,” she says. “Owning up to a mistake gives you the chance to speak to it before someone puts you on the spot.”
It may be scary, but admitting you made a mistake can actually show strength of character, says Toronto psychotherapist Kimberly Moffit. On the other hand, covering up your error or laying blame on others can make you look bad.
“The ability to admit that you've made a mistake shows not only character, but also confidence because you're not afraid of how you'll look,” she says. “In contrast, making excuses comes across as shallow and insecure, as if you're trying to cover up your personal weaknesses.”
Christian Codrington is senior manager at the British Columbia Human Resources Management Association and he acknowledges telling your supervisor you've messed up is easier said than done, especially if you have an arrogant or difficult boss. But if you fess up with a plan, your blunder can demonstrate your ability to handle adversity.
“We're all going to make mistakes, but the mark of the valued employee is how they recover from their mistake and what they say they learned from it,” he says. “It's really good if someone can come with a solution. It doesn't necessarily mean you will go out and do the solution, but you can say, "This is what I'd like to do, but I wanted to check with you first."”
If you made a mistake that's likely to tick off an important client, fixing it might mean apologizing to the offended party and sending flowers or a fruit basket. Though you might be tempted to keep things hush-hush and do all that yourself, Friedman says your boss could actually help you figure out the best way to fix things, as opposed to making things worse.
“Your boss might be able to say, "I know this client, they would rather not have the ass-kissing, let's just let it go and not send them a basket,"” she says. “Or they could say, "I know Murray, he's going to want a pair of gold hockey tickets.""
As well, your mistake might help your boss discover areas in which your company needs to improve.
“Sometimes the company may need to say, "We need to pull up our bootstraps,"" says Friedman. “"If this employee has forgotten about a meeting, we need to upgrade our Outlook or everyone needs a BlackBerry." They get that chance to make sure this doesn't happen in the future.”
One thing not to do? Don't apologize by email, just to avoid getting yelled at.
“I'd be really careful about how you do it,” says Codrington. “If you normally speak to someone in person and then you try to patch up your mistake through email, it looks like you're embarrassed and ashamed.”
Friedman also warns against email apologies. “Don't use email for emotional things, because email can't convey emotions well,” she says. “You want to have a dialogue.”
Beyond the effect it has on your career, making a big mistake at work can be personally demoralizing and upsetting. Moffit says that it's important to give yourself a break and recognize that everyone makes mistakes. As well, you can do proactive things to ensure it doesn't happen again.
“If your schedule is too packed and your levels of stress are too high -- causing you to make more mistakes -- then sit down with yourself, a friend or a therapist to create a healthier schedule that includes downtime for yourself,” she says. “This way you can feel confident moving into the future knowing that you're doing your best to prevent future mistakes.”
As well, Moffit recommends a lunchtime or after-work chat session with a trusted friend or colleague to help alleviate some of your feelings of guilt or embarrassment.
“Most of all, having somebody to confide in or share work horror stories with will help you feel supported and not alone.”

Quoted in the Globe and Mail - September 2011

Temp staffing agency seeks better feedback on workers’ performance
bryan borzykowski
Special to Globe and Mail Update
Published Wednesday, Sep. 28, 2011 6:00AM EDT
Last updated Thursday, Sep. 29, 2011 9:04AM EDT
Every week, we will seek out expert advice to help a small or medium-sized company overcome a key issue it is facing in its business.
When hospitals are short-staffed, Tanya Sarakinis helps to fill in the gaps through her temporary staffing agency for health-care workers.
But as her business has grown, to an expected $2.5-million in revenues this year, she’s found it tougher to make sure her placements are delivering quality care.
The founder and chief executive officer of Burlington, Ont.-based Emerg-Plus Healthcare Consulting Group has contracts with half a dozen hospitals in southern Ontario, 30-plus full-time staff, and about 400 temporary workers, mostly nurses, on her roster.
She has just signed contracts with another half-dozen hospitals.
But as the number of placements grow, Ms. Sarakinis says she is having increasing trouble staying on top of her work force’s performance.
“We’re sending people to multiple sites, and I don’t have direct supervision over them,” she says. “You’re relying on the hospital’s staff to forward any problems.”
Ms. Sarakinis has been placing workers for about a decade. For the first few years, she took a “no news is good news” attitude.
But that approach has stopped working.
She’s only found out a nurse’s performance wasn’t up to snuff when she’s tried to send the person back for another placement, and been rebuffed.
She has asked hospital managers to send complaints to her 48 hours after a placement ends. But she’s finding they aren’t writing back, and occasional problems still persist.
“It’s small stuff that, if I was right there, I could catch.”
The Challenge: How can Emerg-Plus’s boss better monitor quality assurance?
THE EXPERTS WEIGH IN
Barry Levine, principal at Toronto-based RSM Richter
There’s no feedback loop. She needs to create an automated e-mail or survey tool that goes out to the manager to follow up after a placement is completed.
It shouldn’t be obtrusive and it’s something that should only take a few minutes. Keep the questions short, use ranking check boxes [and] it has to be automated.
Let the managers know that the objective is to improve the quality. Tell them, if they want their needs met, there needs to be a feedback loop.
Toronto-based human resources consultant Sari Friedman
She has to set up a performance-based culture, which isn’t always intuitive in the medical field.
She should set up performance criteria for her workers and say, in order to represent this company, you need to be knowledgeable and exhibit good judgment skills in these areas. You can do a test using Survey Monkey or any other online survey tool. Her top-tier nurses will get better placements.
Once they complete a placement, her staff should fill out a form that talks about what their expectations were and what they did at the hospital. If it didn’t meet or exceed expectations, ask them why. It makes them more thoughtful about their own performance.
Kevin Gill, president of Winnipeg-based temp agency, Staffmax Staffing & Recruiting
First and foremost, she must adhere to and document service calls.
Do a first-day-arrival check, where she calls to make sure the person showed up. Then there should be a second-day skills and fit check to make sure that person is a good fit. Then do a weekly service call on a scheduled basis to make sure there are no issues.
It’s not good enough to just check off that it’s been done. Document each detail in the client’s profile. Try to follow up with the person the nurse is reporting directly to, to eliminate any lapse in communication.
We use staffing software like Bullhorn to keep track of everything. You input these calls into the system, and then you can see how each nurse’s performance has been and what specific hospitals had to say about staff.
THREE THINGS EMERG-PLUS SHOULD DO NOW
Create a survey for clients
Instead of asking clients to report an issue, send out a quick survey immediately after a placement. Use check boxes and multiple choice to make the process less time-consuming.
Reward performance
Create a performance-based culture, where better-performing nurses get better shifts.
Remove layers
Follow up with the person the placement directly reports to, rather than waiting for a more senior manager to respond.
Special to The Globe and Mail

Quoted in Chatelaine - November 2010

Is having a personal assistant helpful or stressful?
Rebecca Eckler Thu Nov 04 2010
How is it that someone who is supposed to help me fix my life is ADDING stress to it?
I now finally have an assistant. Whoo-hoo! You’d think it has made my life easier, but, as I’ve said, it’s stressing me out!
For years family and friends, who have seen me stressed beyond belief, have asked why I haven’t hired an assistant. I’m stressed, mostly, not only because of the workload, which is manageable, but mostly because I am so super disorganized.
I thought by hiring an assistant, who I share with another writer, my life would become less stressful, maybe even stress-free!
Only I could possibly become MORE stressed now that I have an assistant. This is because I’m not good at asking people to do things. I’m the hardest worker, but I’m a bad boss. (I always think I can do a better job! Not one of my best qualities, and it's not true!) It’s hard for me to trust someone else too.
I met “my assistant” (love saying that!) to discuss my needs. She seemed on top of things and told me numerous times, “I’m here to organize your life.” She seemed trustworthy, although I did think of asking her to sign a confidentiality agreement. I worried she’d start telling people what I asked her to do, or tell people how I live/eat/what shampoo I use.
But when I actually found myself face-to-face with her, and had to ASK what I needed done, I felt GUILTY. I know she’s “my assistant” (love saying that!) but I couldn’t help but think, “Why am I asking her to call people, when I just could pick up the phone?” And, “Why am I asking her to RSVP for me, when I can easily do that?” And, “Why am I asking her to do research, when I can easily Google search?”
Right! I had to remind myself that well, yes, I CAN do those things, the reason I need an assistant is because I don’t have time to DO all those things. (read my previous post on my Inbox overload!)
There are so many who now work at home, starting businesses, and have to work hard, because they are their own bosses. Many DO need an assistant, because they end up working 18 hours a day. When you are relying on yourself for an income, you have to work it baby, work it.
But my new assistant was adding stress too, because after I hired her, I didn’t know whether the next day I should call her to add on a few more things to the list, because I didn’t want to BOTHER her, even though I’m paying her. Argh.
For all those thinking of getting an assistant (and remember, some will work for cheap if you work in a business they want to learn about) here are some tips, thanks to the awesome Sari Friedman, a Human Resources Consultant and Career Coach in Toronto. If you are in need of Sari's help you can reach her here.

1. Sari reminds me that I have a nanny and how awkward that was at the beginning. It’s true. I felt guilty asking my nanny to do things, but now, two years later, my nanny has my car keys in her hands, before I can scream out, “Where are my keys?” She knows me better than I know myself. She also knows how to read my daughter’s moods. Remember, it takes time to get comfortable with someone new.
2. She suggests starting slowly. Ask your assistant to do things that you know aren’t super important at first and then add more responsibility once you see they are capable. Again, baby steps.
3. She reminds me assistants actually DO want to work. They don’t want to sit on their behinds all day, because that is boring. Remind yourself of that!
4. It’s best to let them know exactly what you expect at the beginning. Because in six months, you don’t want to have to say, “You haven’t been doing…” Then it becomes an issue.
5. You can’t feel guilty. You are paying them to do a job. So STOP FEELING GUILTY!
6. I shouldn’t worry that she’s going to talk about me. Most assistants do understand that they’ll know things about clients that are privileged.
7. Remind yourself that they are there to make your life easier and that they WANT to make your life easier. They, too, take pride in their jobs.
(Just now, I got an e-mail from my assistant saying, "Oh, no! You shouldn't be so flustered! I'll come tomorrow!" So she really does want to help! Sigh of relief!)

Quoted in Today's Parent article - October 2011

The working parents' guide to dealing with sick kids
Struggling to balance the demands of a job and an ill child? Here’s some advice

By: Allison Young
Rebecca Avis-Forsythe winces, recalling the time she sent her three-year-old son to daycare knowing he had thrown up in the night. “Everyone who usually helps me out was busy,” confesses the mother of two from Peterborough, Ont. Out of sick days herself, Avis-Forsythe, an account representative, couldn’t afford to play hooky; neither could her husband, a chef.
Erin Devarennes has been there too. The project manager and mom of two from Moncton, NB, admits that she gave Advil to her feverish daughter so she could send her to daycare long enough to make an important work meeting. “It wasn’t my proudest moment, but it reduced my stress level at the time.”
A child’s surprise illness can push a working parent to the point of panic (“She can’t go to daycare, I’ve got a jam-packed calendar that I can’t rearrange — so now what?”). To help you pull through your kid’s next sick day without neglecting work or parenting responsibilities, we’ve gathered advice from career experts and veteran parents:
Know your rights
Depending on where you live, provincial law may provide you with a specific number of unpaid days to care for your child through a non-life-threatening illness. “What it’s really doing is protecting your job and not making parents have an untenable choice,” says Jody Heymann, founding director of the Institute for Health and Social Policy at McGill University in Montreal. “Unpaid leave is very low-cost to employers.” Heymann urges parents to discuss their child care needs with elected provincial representatives and encourages employers who offer paid sick days to allow parents to use them for themselves or their kids.
Get your boss’s OK
Knowing your employer’s policies before you get a midday pickup call from school is a must — something Cheryl Fraser learned the hard way. Let go from her last job after she announced her pregnancy, Fraser recalls, “A single female VP said to me, when she found out, ‘I don’t do kids — I have a dog.’” Needless to say, the next time around Fraser, a trend forecaster and mother of two living in Stouffville, Ont., will ask up front about potentially working from home if her children are ill.
Which may make you wonder: When is the best time to broach the subject? Experts are divided. Sari Friedman, a human resources consultant and career coach in Toronto, feels strongly that if having flexibility to deal with unexpected family responsibilities is at the top of your job-requirements list, then you can certainly bring it up during the interview process. “But then you shouldn’t also ask about getting an extra week of vacation,” she adds. However, Anne Charette Tyler, president of The Burke Group, a human resources specialist in St. Catharines, Ont., recommends saving the subject until after you have a job offer and are negotiating salary and benefits.
If you’re already in a job and unsure of where your boss and company policy stand on sick days, schedule a chat before your child gets sick. You may be pleasantly surprised. For Sheryl Steinberg, a mom of two from Toronto and director of corporate affairs for a wireless company, staying home with a sick child has never made waves at work. A lot of her peers have kids and have been in the same boat. “No one abuses the practice, so it’s not a big deal; we just tote our smartphones and laptops, and work from home,” she says.
Get child care that works
Not all jobs are family-friendly. If you’re a teacher, doctor or pilot, flex hours are out. And if you’re a lawyer, try telling a judge you missed court because your kid had the flu.
When your career isn’t flexible, your child care has to be. That’s why Bliss Prema chose a home-based caregiver who’s “totally OK with runny noses or a cough.” The Victoria mom practises Indian massage out of her home, and needs quiet during appointments, so having her two-year-old home sick is not an option. Of course, she doesn’t hesitate to cancel on clients when her daughter needs her.
When both parents work and balance demanding schedules, a sick child can throw the marriage into meltdown mode. Carmen, a Toronto mother of two (who asked that we not use her last name), knows this first-hand. “Our child had a fever of 104˚F, was hallucinating and throwing up, and there we were arguing about who could spare two hours to take our sick child to the doctor’s,” she admits. The solution: They hired a live-in nanny, and the fighting stopped.
Sick of the sick day cycle, Patti and Terry Fitzgerald, parents of four from Peterborough, Ont., decided to do something radical: Terry quit his job as a shift manager to stay home when the kids were young. “Yes, we could have called family, but the hard thing is you want to be at home with your sick child,” says Patti. “When they’re really sick, no one else will do.”
See the upside of sick days
A lot of parents get frantic when their child is sick, but the right perspective can make all the difference. Instead of seeing it as an inconvenience, look at it as an opportunity to re-bond and reboot. A day of storytime, chicken soup and snuggling could be just what the doctor ordered — for both of you.
4 signs that a sick day might be unnecessary
A study published in the US journal Pediatrics found that 57 percent of “sick” kids had been sent home unnecessarily. Here are four facts to help you head off avoidable sick days:
1. Vomiting doesn’t always signal sickness. “We’ve had children who vomited when they were upset,” says Tanis Sawtell of Sunset Daycare in Vancouver. Ask your caregiver
to look for other symptoms, such as fever.
2. Allergies can come across as a cold. If your child has hay fever, give daycare the 411 in advance, including a list of specific symptoms (such as watery eyes, drippy nose).
3. Your kid’s rash may not be catchable. Get
a doctor’s note confirming it isn’t contagious.
4. If too much juice or certain foods give your child diarrhea, let your daycare know about those triggers in advance.
Backup plans that work
Your child is going to get sick — that’s a given. But if you have a plan, you won’t be forced to make frantic decisions.
Know your daycare’s sick policy
Patti Fitzgerald of Peterborough, Ont., had a rude awakening when she tried to drop off her on-the-mend son. The mother of four was told he had to be on antibiotics for at least 24 hours before returning to daycare.
“I went back to my car and cried,” Fitzgerald recalls. Take the time to read your caregiver’s parent manual and, if anything’s unclear, discuss in advance to avoid surprises.
Cultivate emergency caregivers
“It can be a disaster when you don’t have backup child care,” warns Wendy Sachs, author of How She Really Does It. Having extended family and trustworthy friends nearby will put you and your child at ease.
However, many parents feel uncomfortable asking for favours. “In a pinch, I call my after-school babysitter to come to the house earlier,” says Erin Devarennes, a mother of two from Moncton, NB. Other crunch-time care options include college students with flexible schedules, on-call nanny services or sick-child daycare centres staffed by health pros. Keep in mind, the price tag can be hefty and the lack of familiarity may turn off your kid.
Tag team
Try splitting the day so that one parent stays home in the morning and the other in the afternoon. “The kid is home with a parent all day long, and you’ll be able to put out any work fires,” says Leigh Oshirak, co-author of Balance Is a Crock, Sleep Is for the Weak: An Indispensable Guide to Surviving Working Motherhood.
When all else fails
If you do need to stay home to care for a sick child, tell your boss promptly and professionally. “Your employer doesn’t need to hear about the green boogers or other gory details,” warns Amy Eschliman, co-author of Balance Is a Crock. “Just tell them the facts and how you plan to cover the work.”
Is your kid really sick?
Your tween starts the morning with “Mom, I don’t feel good.” Is he legitimately sick or faking it? Ask yourself these five questions to spot a Ferris Bueller ploy:
1. Is there a test today? He could be bluffing to blow it off.
2. Do the symptoms make sense? A runny noise paired with stomach ache doesn’t add up.
3. Is he eating? A healthy appetite could be a faking-it red flag.
4. Is the headache here one minute and gone the next? Bogus symptoms tend to lack staying power.
5. How quick is the recovery? Be suspicious if 10 minutes later he’s in his room blasting music or playing PS3.
Originally published in Today's Parent, October 2011